This morning I went swimming again, and it was MUCH better. It's not good..but better. I made it two laps today without having to stop in the middle of the pool choking or gasping for air. WOo-Hoo! Then I grabbed the kick-board again and worked on arms and legs. I swam for about 45 mins, I guess. Then this afternoon, I lifted some weights here at the house and did some push-ups and crunches. I am determined to get a super-human bod this year! It may only last a season, but it'll happen. I am running with a girl I met at Percy Warner Park in the morning.(Erin) Jessika may go, too. We are supposed to do around 6 miles, which will actually be pushing it for me, but I will trudge through. I won't run or do much more of anything again till Monday morning for the Resolution Run. (Gotta taper a little for the 5k...ha) I have been trying to drink more water through-out the day, and I have been eating like a pig. The eating part doesn't really bother me because I go days without a decent meal sometimes. But, I ate so much tonight I feel sick. We ate at LongHorn and I ALWAYS eat too much when I go there.

Today I ran for 3.1 miles in the neighborhood. Little 5k course I have mapped out when I need a quickly. I did it in 28 mins.,which sucks but I wasn't trying to show off or anything. Just run a little and de-stress. This year I hope to hit a 24 something 5k or better. I won't be looking for a time like that till the end of the summer, but it'll happen. My time this past summer was 25:56. That was with Melissa ( Wonder Woman)on my ass the whole time, though. I love running with her because she always challenges me. We are pretty competitive..but it's fun. No other running partner would ever take me up on any race or challenge, but she ain't scared. That's good for me! We don't worry about hurting each other's feelings or getting P.O.'d or anything. It's just for fun! Well, I guess I do get a little mad or frustrated when she stomps me, but that just makes me work harder the next time.

I tried to go to do the free trial at Excel last night. The guys at the office didn't think they were meeting so I winged it at Maryland Farms on my own. (Well, I took my kids and they tried to help). What a disaster THAT was. I couldn't make it across the pool even one time, and I am supposedly in good shape! This is quite distressing to me to say the least. I ended up getting a kick board and working out my arms and legs to try to build some strength. My arms felt like I had been lifting weights after two laps. Some swimmers I have talked to compare it to running. I remember when I first started I couldn't make it from one mail box to the next, but now I run miles. They say it's like that. Before I know it, I will be swimming lap after lap. After last night's performance though, I am having serious doubts that I will EVER swim decently. My fornm is terrible, and I can't breathe without sucking up a bunch a water. DANG!

I tried all day yesterday to get to the gym. That didn't happen...BUT, I did go run for 50 mins in Woodway Subdivision with my friend Martin last night. It was the first time I have run with him one on one, and he kicked my butt on those hills. He has just started running in the past few months, but I couldn't tell. We did some sprints, too and I am feeling it today. Really good run.

I bought a new Garmin 305 last night on eBay. Brand new..$253.oo..free shipping. AWESOME deal. they usually run about $350.oo or more! I went to Fleet feet to get one, but they were sold out, so when I found it on eBay that cheap, I went for it. I can't resist a good deal.

SO today I plan to hit the gym for some upper body training, then go sign up for swim lessons. (They were closed yesterday) And maybe go look at some decent swim suits. I only have a two-piece, and I can't swim laps in that.. now can I? I REALLY dread swimming. I hope if I learn how, it won't be such a burden.

Train or Insane

Well, it's Christmas night, (here is a pic of my Boys by the tree. Aren't they sweet??) and I sit here typing away as I think about my racing goals for the upcoming year. I decided to call this blog "Train or Insane" for a ton of different reasons. My husband (Doug) thinks I am insane for wanting to train for a Triathlon this year. He thought I was insane for training for the marathon in '04. Basically he thinks I am crazy for doing ANY of it. But, I think I would be insane if I didn't. Running is my prozac. I used to have to take the stuff, and I have never been good with taking pills. I felt pretty depressed and crazy all the time. So, I started running again, and signed up for the CMMarathon in 04. Eventually, I got off the prozac because running did it for me. Here's the thing, though....when I don't run, the depression creeps back in, which brings me to the start of this blog. It's Christmas night....

I feel sort of depressed tonight, and anxious, and overwhelmed. I have been so busy with work and getting Christmas together this month, I haven't been able to run like I need to, or enjoy my kids, or enjoy much of anything, really. Instead of focusing on all the "joy", I feel panicked, sad, and stressed. I REALLY need to go on a long run tomorrow, and just get it all out. I have NO IDEA how to train for the Tri I want to do this year. I bought a new road bike last year. A Gunnar Roadie, but I haven't been able to ride it like I thought I would. Hopefully that will change this year. I am going to the rec center tomorrow to sign up for swimming lessons with Excel. (I swim like a rock). And, I start Speed Sessions back up for 10 weeks in the middle of January. This is one thing I am REALLY looking forward to. Those work-outs this summer were grueling and I LOVE that feeling. I am weird like that. This is the one thing Doug doesn't understand about me. I want it to hurt. The more it hurts, the better it is for me. I LOVE it when my muscles are screaming, and I can't breathe, and I am sweating till I feel sick. I love to run hills, and sprint. Make me puke and pass out without the aid of beer!!!HA! (there is NOTHING better than Yazoo or Blue Moon after a work-out..BTW)

December has been rough because I haven't had time to feel this way. I have been lashing out at my kids, my husband, and anyone else in my path. (Maybe I need prozac) January is coming though! And the first race of the season will be the Resolution Run 5k! I am not going to concentrate on a time for this race..just doing it will be good enough for me. I really don't start worrying about 5k times till after the CMM anyway. I mostly concentrate on distance till after April. (although I do want to get my half marathon time under 2 hours this year)

So..my first few goals and resolutions are

-Learn to swim effectivly
-spend time on my road bike
-Do 10 weeks of speed sessions
-Do CMM under 2 hours
-Build some decent upper body muscles

These are a good start. Maybe I should also add

-Go to bed without the aid of pills
-wake up early to work out
-stop bitchin' so much...I HAVE IT MADE!!!!!!

So, that's it for now. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Good Night!
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