Train or Insane

Well, it's Christmas night, (here is a pic of my Boys by the tree. Aren't they sweet??) and I sit here typing away as I think about my racing goals for the upcoming year. I decided to call this blog "Train or Insane" for a ton of different reasons. My husband (Doug) thinks I am insane for wanting to train for a Triathlon this year. He thought I was insane for training for the marathon in '04. Basically he thinks I am crazy for doing ANY of it. But, I think I would be insane if I didn't. Running is my prozac. I used to have to take the stuff, and I have never been good with taking pills. I felt pretty depressed and crazy all the time. So, I started running again, and signed up for the CMMarathon in 04. Eventually, I got off the prozac because running did it for me. Here's the thing, though....when I don't run, the depression creeps back in, which brings me to the start of this blog. It's Christmas night....

I feel sort of depressed tonight, and anxious, and overwhelmed. I have been so busy with work and getting Christmas together this month, I haven't been able to run like I need to, or enjoy my kids, or enjoy much of anything, really. Instead of focusing on all the "joy", I feel panicked, sad, and stressed. I REALLY need to go on a long run tomorrow, and just get it all out. I have NO IDEA how to train for the Tri I want to do this year. I bought a new road bike last year. A Gunnar Roadie, but I haven't been able to ride it like I thought I would. Hopefully that will change this year. I am going to the rec center tomorrow to sign up for swimming lessons with Excel. (I swim like a rock). And, I start Speed Sessions back up for 10 weeks in the middle of January. This is one thing I am REALLY looking forward to. Those work-outs this summer were grueling and I LOVE that feeling. I am weird like that. This is the one thing Doug doesn't understand about me. I want it to hurt. The more it hurts, the better it is for me. I LOVE it when my muscles are screaming, and I can't breathe, and I am sweating till I feel sick. I love to run hills, and sprint. Make me puke and pass out without the aid of beer!!!HA! (there is NOTHING better than Yazoo or Blue Moon after a work-out..BTW)

December has been rough because I haven't had time to feel this way. I have been lashing out at my kids, my husband, and anyone else in my path. (Maybe I need prozac) January is coming though! And the first race of the season will be the Resolution Run 5k! I am not going to concentrate on a time for this race..just doing it will be good enough for me. I really don't start worrying about 5k times till after the CMM anyway. I mostly concentrate on distance till after April. (although I do want to get my half marathon time under 2 hours this year)

So..my first few goals and resolutions are

-Learn to swim effectivly
-spend time on my road bike
-Do 10 weeks of speed sessions
-Do CMM under 2 hours
-Build some decent upper body muscles

These are a good start. Maybe I should also add

-Go to bed without the aid of pills
-wake up early to work out
-stop bitchin' so much...I HAVE IT MADE!!!!!!

So, that's it for now. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Good Night!
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